Learning how to improve your listening skills is a critical part of becoming a more effective communicator. When we think of communication, we often think of speaking and writing. However, in a world of social media and what Julian Treasure calls “personal broadcasting”, we are “losing our listening”. Thankfully, there are many ways to improve listening skills, which we’ll discuss below.
There are many books you can read to find out how to improve your listening skills. However, having the intention to be a better listener is the first step, as well as understanding why listening is crucial in the first place.
Why Listening Skills Matter
Learning techniques to improve listening skills matters because, as Treasure discusses in his talk, 5 Ways to Listen Better, statistics show that we are not very good at it. Building on the concept of “personal broadcasting”, we receive a substantial amount of audio data every day, but how much of it do we fully process and understand?
Learning how to improve listening skills is vital because it is a skill that we must hone. While some people may be naturally better listeners than others, anyone can practise techniques to improve listening skills.
Factors that influence effective listening
As Treasure discusses, there are many elements to listening. Firstly, it is a mental process of making meaning from sound, which involves cognitive processes such as pattern recognition. External noise, such as traffic and machine noise, can affect how we listen, along with unconscious biases and filters that influence how we receive and interpret information.
These sometimes unconscious filters include:
- Culture
- Language
- Values
- Beliefs
- Attitudes
- Expectations
- Intentions
Overall, cultivating mindfulness about sound and what affects our listening capacity is critical for active and empathic listening. By being aware of the filters that affect our listening, we can become more conscious of how we listen.
Five daily techniques to improve listening skills
To become a good listener, you need to practise. We’ll now share Treasure’s five techniques, which form the foundation of better listening and which can enhance active and empathetic listening.
1. Sitting in silence
To better attune ourselves to our environment, and everything in it, Treasure recommends sitting in silence, even if it is for just three minutes a day. If you live in a noisy place, and silence is impossible, quiet will do.
This technique might seem simple, but by simply taking the time to sit in silence, we become more aware of the different sounds and noises around us, which trains our listening ability and cultivates mindfulness.
2. Practice “the mixer”
In addition to sitting in silence, Treasure also recommends a practice he calls “the mixer”. This practice involves sitting and listening to the sounds around you, taking the time to identify various channels of sound, from bird song to plants moving in the wind.
3. Appreciate the “hidden choir”
Treasure also recommends appreciating the complexity of mundane sounds in our environment, like the washing machine, which Treasure calls the “hidden choir”.
4. Try different listening positions
Treasure shares in his talk that adopting different listening positions is one of the most important ways to improve your abilities. For example, when someone is upset, you may choose to focus on the emotional elements of the conversation and listen more empathetically. On the other hand, in a business context, you may listen more actively to the positions or statements that a colleague presents in a meeting.
5. Practise RASA
Many people might wonder how all of these seemingly simple techniques can help you become a better listener. However, once a person has built a solid foundation for engaging with sound and their environment, they can then apply these skills to interacting with people in both noisy and quiet environments.
We can start to understand how to apply these strategies for improving listening skills by outlining the meaning of this acronym, which is the following:
- R – Receive
- A – Appreciate
- S – Summarise
- A – Ask
By analysing the acronym, we can see how practising the exercises above can help to cultivate the first two elements. These skills can then be applied further when summarising and asking for clarification, which are the next steps in the process of listening consciously.
These elements are essential in developing our communication skills, as they form part of active and empathic listening, which we will expand on in the next point. Therefore, by physically practising the act of listening, we can become more mindful and present, which is a vital element of developing holistic intelligence and being a good listener.
Further techniques to develop active listening
The practical tips we discussed above can assist in developing greater general awareness; however, becoming a better listener also involves building self-awareness. Self-awareness is critical for active listening and being fully present to what the other person is feeling and experiencing. These skills also apply in both personal and professional environments, although you may have more opportunities to listen to an intimate partner, for example.
To expand on the concept of developing listening skills, we’ll now talk briefly about techniques for active and empathetic listening. According to an article on VeryWellMind called 7 Active Listening Techniques For Better Communication, these seven techniques include:
1. Be fully present
As mentioned previously, being present is one of the first steps to improving listening skills. By avoiding distractions and putting away your phone, you can be more receptive and able to engage with others.
2. Look for verbal and non-verbal cues
A person’s body language and gestures can tell you a lot about how they’re feeling, even if they claim the opposite. When you practice active listening, you’re receiving not only the auditory or verbal messages, but also appreciating the subtle nuances of bodily communication.
3. Maintain eye contact
Staring at someone for too long is creepy, but maintaining eye contact for about 4-5 seconds at a time can let the person know that you’re present and interested in what they’re saying. Nodding and leaning in are other non-verbal cues that affirm your interest in the conversation.
4. Ask open-ended questions
Asking yes or no questions can stifle a conversation, but asking open-ended questions can help the person you’re listening to elaborate and start to make sense of what they’re thinking and feeling. Examples of open-ended questions include:
- What did you think/feel about that?
- Can you tell me more about that?
- What do you think is the best way to move forward?
5. Reflect what you hear
As the RASA acronym above suggests, summarising or reflecting what you are hearing can help the person you’re listening to feel heard. Another term for this is paraphrasing, where you repeat back what has been shared in your own words to confirm that you have understood what the other person is trying to communicate.
6. Be patient
While listening to others, it can be easy to start formulating your response in your head or interrupt them because you feel inspired to share your thoughts. Being patient and allowing for natural pauses in the conversation can take the pressure off the other person, who may need time to process their thoughts while they are speaking.
7. Don’t judge
It can be difficult not to form judgments about what people are saying and to make sense of it by offering advice or critique. However, being patient and not judging the speaker can lead to more effective communication, as the speaker can speak freely without feeling the need to defend or justify themselves. Often, just being heard and having a space to vent is all that is required.
Final thoughts: Listening is a learnable skill
Thanks to neuroplasticity, our brains have the constant ability to create new neural pathways, which means that developing listening skills is possible at any age. Practising the skills we’ve mentioned above and applying them in active listening will enable you to deepen your listening skills and build more meaningful connections.
To elevate your communication skills in a more formal setting, explore SACAP Global’s variety of short online courses, which will empower you to excel in interpersonal communication. These courses include the following:
FAQ:
1. What are the best ways to improve your listening skills?
The best ways to improve your listening skills include practising mindfulness, building awareness of the sounds around you, and practising active listening.
2. What role does emotional intelligence play in listening?
Emotional intelligence is linked to listening because it involves self-awareness, which translates into being more aware of what others are thinking and feeling.
3. Can listening skills be improved?
Yes. We can improve our listening skills in many ways, such as taking the time to be present with someone who is talking to us and helping them feel understood by reflecting what they say back to them.
4. How does listening improve communication skills?
Listening improves communication skills because by being present and intentional when someone is speaking to us, we can respond more effectively, and build deeper trust and rapport, which makes navigating conflict easier.
5. What techniques help with active listening?
Being fully present, noticing both verbal and non-verbal cues, being patient and not judgmental and reflecting what the person is saying are examples of active listening techniques.
