Instead of seeing relationships as merely a means to joy, Imago therapists believe that we enter relationships as adults in order to heal our childhood wounds and, ultimately, to find wholeness and fulfillment.
The Roots of Childhood Wounds
The unmet needs and emotional bumps and bruises of our youth are the result of ‘imperfect parenting’, claim practitioners of the Imago school of thought, which was developed 31 years ago by Dr Harville Hendrix and Dr Helen LaKelly Hunt as a therapy for improving all kinds of relationships in life. Our parents parented ‘imperfectly’, say these therapists, because they, too, suffered childhood wounding from their parents and, like us, they carried these subconscious emotional scars into their adulthoods, seeking psychological ‘repair’ from their relationships with their partners.
The Cycle of Emotional Scars
Imago therapy, practitioners insist, offers:
- A better understanding of ourselves and our partners
- Healthier relationships built on honest communication
- A safe and nurturing environment for raising children
How, then, are we expected to function, let alone thrive, if we’re at the mercy of the wounds of our past? And how can we go about raising well-adjusted children if we are, ourselves, scarred from our own childhoods?
Through Imago therapy, insist its practitioners, we come to a better understanding of ourselves – and our partners – so that we can enjoy healthy relationships that thrive on honest communication. And, in so doing, we create a safe and nurturing environment in which to raise our children.
Conscious Parenting
Relationship coach, marriage counsellor and Imago proponent Grete Becker explains:
“When the space that parents co-create for their children is warm, trusting and accepting, the children grow up feeling safe, curious and fully alive.”
Becker emphasises that:
- Conscious parenting from connected parents creates thriving children.
- Breaking the cycle of wounding enables children to become psychologically healthy adults.
- Healthy offspring will, in turn, raise the next generation free from inherited wounds.
